I think I might be a horrible person

Okay....  In this post there's going to be some content that people who: are easily offended; dislike profanity; are under the age where they have had sex education... well, they probably shouldn't read.  So this is all you're getting until after the jump.  YOU are responsible for deciding whether or not to read this, but if you do decide you're going to you aren't allowed to gripe.  Put on the big girl or big boy panties and deal.