Okay, so not much progress. No weight loss (although holding steady at 320 lbs. is still better than gaining!) and no inches lost. I think a lot of it is stress, and the fact that because of work and school I've been sitting on my butt more than I should have been. But that isn't an excuse, really, because I could probably find plenty of ways to move around more than I have been.
However, I have been eating a lot better! I've had fast food three times. That's only once a week! Considering as how I used to eat fast food about twice a week, I'd say that's a massive improvement. I've been eating more salad and vegetables (which I love, so it isn't really a chore), and I've been bringing my food more often than I've been buying things in the cafeteria at school. Not that the school cafeteria is all that bad, but when the cheapest things available to eat are fries, cheese fries, taquitos, grilled cheese sandwiches, chips and hard-boiled eggs... well, I'm sure you can see that eating there isn't exactly the World Health Organization's idea of good nutrition. The upside is that I am far more energetic since I laid off a lot of fast food and soda.
As the holidays approach, it is going to be hard for all of us. Especially those in school with me. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who has two presentations and an essay due the day before Thanksgiving! That's pretty stressful, too. So, I'm going to need to pick up my activity level so I can release more endorphins and feel better, eat more leafy greens to up my B vitamins (which also helps regulate stress and depression, making you feel better), and also set some personal time aside to relax with yoga or meditation or a nice shower and some scented lotion. It's the little things-- like the fact that I'm eating grapes right now because I want something sweet, instead of reaching for the jellybeans by the fridge. It will all add up, I know it will!
But it is still kind of depressing to think that it's been three weeks already and I haven't LOST anything... I thought I would have at least lost a pound by now. I don't think 2 pounds a month is really that big a loss when you have as many pounds to burn through as I do, yet here I am staying stable at 320 and not going anywhere. I could get really down on myself right now, I could. But the thing is, how will getting down on myself change the past? All that will do is get me upset and make me lose energy, and then I REALLY won't want to do anything, and NOTHING will change. So I just have to forgive myself and make changes to my current actions. Still freaking hard though. I'm not so mature that I can just go and forgive myself without beating myself up a little bit over it. Bleh.
Anyway, I've been noticing that I've been listening to music more and dancing around the house because I have felt more energetic. I blame the veggies. :) So, this blog entry is brought to you by the letters S, N, and Z... a.k.a. the Squirrel Nut Zippers, a totally awesome ska/vintage swing band I heard about from a friend of mine a couple years ago. I've been swinging my butt around to 2 of their songs in particular: Put A Lid On It and Bedbugs. Go watch the videos and join me in dancing around your house like an idiot! It's actually pretty fun!
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